Jhaal jhinge (Hot ridge-gourd)

Ingredients:
Ridge gourd - 300 g
Onion (medium) - 1  (long thick slices)
Green chili - 5-10 (whole or slit into two longitudinally)
Cumin powder - 1/2 teaspoonful
Coriander powder - 1/2 teaspoonful
Turmeric powder - 1/2 teaspoonful
Oil - 1/4 cup
Salt - according to taste
Any hard drink (according to taste) with >= 45% alcohol v/v - 350 ml or more

Procedure:

1. Remove the outer hard part of the skin of the ridge gourd. Chop it into 2" long and 1/2" thick pieces (should come to the shape and size of the green chilies after cooking).
2. Heat the oil in a deep pan.
3. Add the onion and fry until soft.
4. Add the chilies.
5. When the chilies start to lose colour, add the ridge gourd.
6. Keep tossing and mixing with a spatula until the ridge gourd softens and loses colour.
7. The ridge gourd should release a lot of water. You can add 1/2 a cup of water if required. Add turmeric powder, cumin powder, coriander powder and salt. Mix well.
8. Cover and cook for 10-15 minutes (until the ridge gourd is completely done)
   . The end result should have little gravy, but not completely dry either.
9. Serve the alcohol to your subject first.
10. Once you are convinced that the chap is drunk, serve the "jhaal jhinge" (preferably with some white rice).
11. The subject will get all shaken up (especially when chewing a green chili - which is now indiscernible from the gourd) and appreciate the food, while struggling to figure out if they are selling hot ridge gourd in the market these days. Keep ample ample amount of drinking water and/or sugar handy.
12. If the subject is bigger than you, make sure you have a life-insurance before starting any of this.
13. If you are not using alcohol, reduce the amount of chili to 1-2.